Tag Archive for: Out Of The Woods Wellness

plan

I am a planner. I have a long-term, detailed plan for all aspects of my life; work, travel, health, finances. What has secretly driven me to become such an excellent planner is my naturally anxious state. My plans give me ease and assurances when my nervousness is heightened. I review them, re-write them and imagine them coming into reality almost on a daily basis.

As a young child, I had a pink teddy bear that I adored. He was my comforter and who I turned to in times when I felt uncertain. I would cling to Teddy each night as I lay in my bed. I would tell Teddy my future plans each night before I fell asleep.

Why Do I Plan?

I grew up in a household that was controlled by a very strict mother. The uncertainty of her moods made me and everyone else in household live on edge. One of her particular characteristics was her habit to change her mind on just about everything at the last minute.

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fear

There is a lot of fear running through the world right now, and you are most likely feeling some of it yourself. Fear is such a powerful emotion. It can paralyze us even in the good times and block us from our health, wealth, well-being, and connections to others and even ourselves. I believe that at this time we are feeling these blocks more than ever.

Fear

Fear takes many forms from anxiety, worry, panic, tension, nervousness, distrust, defensiveness, obsessive thinking and uncertainty just to name a few. As long as we feel and believe that we are separate, this mindset will chase us down.

When we are lost in fear, what we often think about is how we will get hurt, what we will lose, and how we cannot protect ourselves or those we care about. Even the most successful amongst us are constantly avoiding or being subtly manipulated by fear.

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reacting

At times such as these, our life is uncertain and each day we are exposed to additional information about the health of our world, communities and families. It is important that we resist reacting and instead we consciously choose to calmly respond.

What is Reacting?

While react and respond are similar words, they mean completely different things. Reacting in stressful times is instinctual and it comes from the unconscious mind. It is a process of operating on autopilot without any filtering. This is when you say things without thinking or you act without considering the ramifications of your behaviour.

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struggle

Do you believe that life is a struggle and that you have to fight to get what you want? Do you worry about losing control of your health, wealth, relationships and career? If you said yes to either of these questions, this may be because you have a strong belief that is holding you back from attaining the life you want. Bottom line, it is keeping you from enjoying happiness and ease on a daily basis.

Limitations

Whenever you experience limitations in your life, the cause is most likely rooted in your past. It shows up today as patterns and in thoughts such as “I always struggle with…”, “I can never realize…”, “I must be…”. These experiences of struggle and of feeling “less-than” go against your natural state of infinite joy, love and resourcefulness.

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emotions

What emotions should I be feeling given what is going on in the world today? Given the level of uncertainty and unpredictability in our environment, it is appropriate and proportional to be feeling fear, overwhelm and anxiousness. These emotions appear when we feel our wellbeing is under threat. And who isn’t feeling that their life, health, and livelihood is under attack? What we want to watch out for however, is to not linger in these negative emotions for long periods of time.

So, what can we do to manage our emotional state? My suggestion is to apply two approaches that together, can move you gently and effectively out of negativity.

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stress

It is hard to cope with stressful situations, especially when they happen on a regular basis. Over the long term, stress can have devastating impacts to one’s overall health. This can in turn lead to heart disease, unhealthy levels of cholesterol, and high blood pressure. Finding ways that you can deal with stress so that it doesn’t knock you down is a smart, proactive step towards overall management of both your mental and physical wellbeing.

The tips that are offered below require some practice and dedication but if you stick with it, before long you will get the hang of it. Eventually, you will be enjoying a much more calm and peaceful daily life.

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anxiety, living with anxiety, anxious, anxiety disorder

Most people experience feelings of anxiety before an important event such as a big exam, business presentation or first date. Stress in this type of situation is normal and it is a proportional reaction to an external pressure. Most people will experience some form of anxiousness in their lives and for the majority, the feelings of nervousness and worry disappear as soon as the event has passed.

Anxiety Disorders

Having an anxiety disorder however is usually diagnosed when the cause that is triggering the person to feel frightened, distressed and uneasy has no apparent reason. New research shows that anxiety disorders can run in families and that they can have a biological basis much like allergies or diabetes. Anxiety disorders may also develop from a complex set of risk factors including personality and life events.

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anxiety

Wherever You Go, There You Are is a wonderful book on mindfulness written by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It reminds us that we cannot escape our thinking and that no matter what we do, our mindset goes with us. We can try to run away from ourselves by vacationing, shopping, eating and so on however, it is still you who is doing all of those things.

The Anxious Mental Narrative

For those of us who experience anxiety, our mental narrative tends to be skewed to the negative disproportionally and inappropriately. Since our thoughts are often not realistic and instead fabrications of our over-active and often destructive imagination, our lives get tossed around like a leaf blowing in a windstorm. We end up feeling overwhelmed and in a state of panic by the narrative that we are playing in our minds. We spend more energy and time reviewing what may be showing up as opposed to enjoying the beauty and peace of the present moment.

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nlp coaching

Often, I get asked what NLP life coaching is and how is it different from therapy. I thought it would be a good idea to start off the new year answering this question. 

What is NLP Coaching?

NLP coaching is founded on the principle that excellence in communication can be achieved by anyone. It delivers this excellence through a set of modern techniques that build powerful and transformation results. NLP coaching focuses on the communication between individuals, groups and self. The communication with self, which determine our core beliefs, self-talk, and ultimately how we feel, is the primary focus of my particular coaching practiceEssentially, NLP coaching allows for quick and powerful changes in beliefs and emotional states that no longer serve the person. These changes lead to more motivation, less stress and worry, improved mood and more clarity around what needs to be done.   

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stress-free christmas Karen Spencer it can be different out of the woods wellness york region

The Christmas season is a time of seemingly endless gatherings with family and friends, celebrations at the office, and entertaining at home.  All of this anticipation can be exhilarating; however it can also be anxiety provoking due to the unrealistic expectation to create the “best Christmas ever.” The most wonderful time of the year can easily turn into the most exhausting time of the year. And this can lead to January burn out, regret and financial burden. I have come to appreciate how important planning and prioritizing is to reduce the probability of having a Christmas that is not all that jolly and actually a bit melancholy.

Here are some of my best suggestions for a stress free Christmas:

Set Realistic Expectations

The sooner you understand that the holidays don’t have to be perfect, the better. There is no perfect Christmas. That concept is reserved for the Hallmark TV  Channel only. Families change and grow and so traditions come and go. Choose the one or two celebrations that are meaningful enough to hold onto. Then allow space to create new traditions that serve your family as it is in the present.

Plan Ahead

As with all tasks, if you plan ahead the chances of success are higher than if you wing it. Christmas is no exception. Set aside specific days for activities like shopping, baking, visiting, decorating and so on. That will prevent last minute scrambling. Also, by having a plan you are more apt to say no to activities that would leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed.

Set a budget and stick to it!

Before you spend any money on the holidays, decide how much you can afford to spend and then portion that amount between all of the necessities such as gifts, food, entertaining, travel, etc. There is nothing more anxiety-provoking than the January credit card statements if December was managed poorly. Preplanning your spending and refusing to buy into the message: happiness is a mountain of presents, are necessary defences. Realize that there are a lot of ways to spend less money on gifts and yet still show that you care. Things like a gift exchange or Secret Santa is a great way to reduce the financial burden of gift giving. Homemade gifts are meaningful and can be very special to the person receiving them. Donating to charities is also becoming a popular alternative to actual store-bought presents.

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different