Worry, Mental Rehearsal, It Can Be Different, Karen Spencer NLP Aurora York Region

Worrying about an upcoming event, appointment, job interview, presentation, exam or really just about anything is normal. We all do it.  And the more important the event, the more worried we become.

We imagine we will forget things, get lost, mess up our words, look silly, get embarrassed, perform poorly, not get the results we are hoping for…….

As the days to the event gets closer and closer, the worrying becomes more and more intense and vivid. It begins to impede on our daily activities and on our ability to rest and relax.

What we are actually doing is mentally rehearsing failure over and over again.  We are unintentionally programming ourselves for the one thing we don’t want which is to fail.

So What is Mental Rehearsal?

Mental rehearsal is a powerful technique that has been used by sports psychologists and trainers for over 50 years.  It is the process by which you imagine yourself in the future performing or being in a situation.

High performers in sports, performing arts, and business use this technique to up their game and to prepare themselves to ace whatever they are doing.  They mentally rehearse over and over again, refining and perfecting their performance each time.  They are teaching their mind and body what to do when the real-life situation is in front of them.

Worriers use the same technique of mental rehearsal except for the opposite result.  Worriers imagine their performance as not being the best ever, but the worst ever.  Not as getting them closer to their goals and dreams, but to pull themselves down the slope of failure and disaster.

Over and over again they rehearse the event with the results being more and more disastrous.  And each time they do this their body gets into the negative emotions that are related to the imagined poor outcome – sadness, disappointment, anger, embarrassment.

The body isn’t sure if the event is imagined or real, so it responds with all of the stress hormones associated with these negative emotions. It pulls the body into an unhealthy state.

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

 

Anxiety, It's Okay to Not Be Okay, Karen Spencer NLP It Can Be Different Aurora York Region Out of the Woods Wellness

How accepting are you of the notion that it’s okay to not be okay?

Think about it.  Be honest with yourself.  Initially, you are probably saying something like, “Sure, I can handle not being okay.”  But can you really?  When those days show up and you are dealing with feelings such as sadness, hurt, anger, guilt – what is your reaction?  Is it to push those feelings away and get rid of them as soon as possible?

What if I told you that it’s okay to not be okay?

Well, it’s true.  You don’t have to be totally together all the time – have all the answers, be calm and poised, look glamorous, present yourself as collected, etc.  Trying to keep it together all the time is exhausting and debilitating. It leads to anxiety, nervousness and stress.  It can become a fertile breeding ground for some destructive coping habits and health issues.

So what is the best way to deal with not being okay?

First of all, assess whether or not it is a short-term situation or something that has been going on for a long period of time.  If it is something that you feel will most likely pass, then facing and acknowledging the feelings is the key to handling the situation in a healthy way.  Accept that the feelings are present and that you cannot and should not ignore them. Stillness and being with our emotions can bring forward clues about what is happening in our world. And what we need to feel in that moment.

You Are Not Alone…

Also, recognize that everyone has days during which they don’t feel okay. This means you are not alone and you are not broken.  It is a normal, expected part of living.  Having days of not being okay should never be anything that you are humiliated about.

And here is some good news, having an off day opens up space to take care of yourself, to meet your needs, to receive help and step into solutions that might result in some positive changes.  Be open to the opportunity that is being presented to you and explore with curiosity of what it could bring for you.

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It's Okay to Not Be Okay Karen Spencer NLP Out of the Woods Wellness Aurora

 

Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different