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Fear Of Change

fear of change it can be different out of the woods wellness karen spencer aurora - how to deal with anxiety naturally

We are only a few weeks away from the scariest of all nights of the year, Halloween. Although we joke and jest about Halloween, and the traditional acts of scaring others by dressing up as witches and warlocks, fear is not a joking matter for many. Fear is a real and daily demon.

Anxiety is intrinsically linked to our survival instincts. Giving it up seems inconceivable for many that suffer. Most people tell me they want to be less anxious, however when asked what they would like to do to change their anxiety, their response is, “But I hate change.”  What they are really saying is that they want the benefits of change, as long as they don’t have to make the actual changes. For them the fear of change is too great.

Change means that you have to do something new, amend your habits, develop new ways of thinking and create a new way of being. It’s about holding your own hand while you step into the unknown. There are no shortcuts or free passes.  The process requires that you get comfortable with being uncomfortable and with making sacrifices.

So why are we hardwired to be afraid of change even when we recognize that it would be good for us? Why do we fail at change over and over again?  And why do we procrastinate to make the changes that will lead us to a better, more fulfilled life?

Top Excuses that Prevent Change

Here are the top excuses I hear that keep people from moving forward with their lives:

I Will Be Uncomfortable

It is natural to fear discomfort.  It’s hardwired into us.  However, if you want change than you must recognize that you are already uncomfortable with your life, your health, your relationships, your career, or your finances. Moving towards a new way of living is simply about feeling uncomfortable in a different way, so you can get to where you truly want to be. Isn’t it more reasonable to opt for temporary uncomfortableness that will lead to positive changes versus being uncomfortable with a negative aspect of your being for the rest of your life?

I May Not Succeed

The fear of failure permeates all of our society in so many ways. It is wrapped up with feelings of embarrassment, humiliation, or awkwardness. Fear of failure keeps great ideas unfertilized and people stuck in routine and boredom. It takes courage to realize that this fear is irrational and to not bow to its pressure. Where would we be if Thomas Edison had succumbed to the fear of failure and did not attempt to invent the lightbulb over a thousand times! What great ideas are you backing away from because of your fear of failure?

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

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How Soft Eyes Can Reduce The Feelings Of Anxiety

how soft eyes can reduce anxiety it can be different out of the woods wellness karen spencer aurora

I have vivid memories of my many heightened experiences with anxiety. Triggered by an event (which many times was outside of my awareness), my relentless negative self-talk would start up and be something I could not stop. Typically, it was worries of a negative outcome, a perceived failure or an anticipated altercation with someone. Certainly the thought, I’m not good enough, was at the centre of most of my internal dialogue.

Interestingly enough, when I felt anxious, I took on behaviour as if a real predator was actually threatening me. My eyes would dart back and forth, desperately looking for the danger. I was acting as if a prowling lion was stalking toward me. I have now learned that this is a completely normal behavioural response to feelings of fear or anxiety. This behaviour is hardwired into us; the mind cannot tell the difference between being scared due to an actual predator, or from something imagined.

After years of trying to manage my anxiety, I discovered if I defocused my eyes while experiencing anxiety my emotions would calm down. A wonderful sense of connection would begin and my heart rate would start to slow. I soon began to defocus my eyes at work, when I was feeling anxious, or at home when things got overwhelming. It was a great take along when I was on long flights to reduce any sense of nervousness.

Technique for Reducing Anxiety: Defocusing Your Eyes

Here is all you need to know to start doing this technique yourself. Pick an object to focus on somewhere near you. It can be anything, like a chair or book. The size or shape of the object doesn’t matter.

Next, stare at the object with all of your concentration…

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

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Do Autumn Differently This Year

do autumn differently anxiety disorders and natural solutions for anxiety it can be different out of the woods wellness karen spencer aurora

Autumn Is On The Way

Can you feel the change in the air? My mother always used to ask me this around this time of the year. And she was right. There is a shift in the air at this time of year. Somehow, it feels less intense outside, even though temperatures can still reach as high as they did at the peak of the summer. There is a coolness that catches you every once in a while.  Sleeping at night is easier. Windows can be open and we do not need to rely incessantly on our air conditioners. All of these signs point directly to the return of children to school and for us adults, the return to a more routine way of life. Even for those of us who either do not have children, or have children that are grown and done with the school system, the approach of autumn means a return to a way of life that is usually more stressed and more demanding. The long days of summer, with their “whatever” attitude, are starting to pack their bags and head to more southerly regions.

Do Autumn Differently This Year

For some, the return to the regular routine of life means the return to the familiar feelings of stress and anxiety. But what if we enter autumn differently this year, and avoid those unwanted feelings altogether?

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

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Worrying is Mental Rehearsal for Failure

Worry, Mental Rehearsal, It Can Be Different, Karen Spencer NLP Aurora York Region

Worrying about an upcoming event, appointment, job interview, presentation, exam or really just about anything is normal. We all do it.  And the more important the event, the more worried we become.

We imagine we will forget things, get lost, mess up our words, look silly, get embarrassed, perform poorly, not get the results we are hoping for…….

As the days to the event gets closer and closer, the worrying becomes more and more intense and vivid. It begins to impede on our daily activities and on our ability to rest and relax.

What we are actually doing is mentally rehearsing failure over and over again.  We are unintentionally programming ourselves for the one thing we don’t want which is to fail.

So What is Mental Rehearsal?

Mental rehearsal is a powerful technique that has been used by sports psychologists and trainers for over 50 years.  It is the process by which you imagine yourself in the future performing or being in a situation.

High performers in sports, performing arts, and business use this technique to up their game and to prepare themselves to ace whatever they are doing.  They mentally rehearse over and over again, refining and perfecting their performance each time.  They are teaching their mind and body what to do when the real-life situation is in front of them.

Worriers use the same technique of mental rehearsal except for the opposite result.  Worriers imagine their performance as not being the best ever, but the worst ever.  Not as getting them closer to their goals and dreams, but to pull themselves down the slope of failure and disaster.

Over and over again they rehearse the event with the results being more and more disastrous.  And each time they do this their body gets into the negative emotions that are related to the imagined poor outcome – sadness, disappointment, anger, embarrassment.

The body isn’t sure if the event is imagined or real, so it responds with all of the stress hormones associated with these negative emotions. It pulls the body into an unhealthy state.

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

 

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