Tag Archive for: anxiety relief

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Four Suggestions For A Stress-Free Christmas

stress-free christmas Karen Spencer it can be different out of the woods wellness york region

The Christmas season is a time of seemingly endless gatherings with family and friends, celebrations at the office, and entertaining at home.  All of this anticipation can be exhilarating; however it can also be anxiety provoking due to the unrealistic expectation to create the “best Christmas ever.” The most wonderful time of the year can easily turn into the most exhausting time of the year. And this can lead to January burn out, regret and financial burden. I have come to appreciate how important planning and prioritizing is to reduce the probability of having a Christmas that is not all that jolly and actually a bit melancholy.

Here are some of my best suggestions for a stress free Christmas:

Set Realistic Expectations

The sooner you understand that the holidays don’t have to be perfect, the better. There is no perfect Christmas. That concept is reserved for the Hallmark TV  Channel only. Families change and grow and so traditions come and go. Choose the one or two celebrations that are meaningful enough to hold onto. Then allow space to create new traditions that serve your family as it is in the present.

Plan Ahead

As with all tasks, if you plan ahead the chances of success are higher than if you wing it. Christmas is no exception. Set aside specific days for activities like shopping, baking, visiting, decorating and so on. That will prevent last minute scrambling. Also, by having a plan you are more apt to say no to activities that would leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed.

Set a budget and stick to it!

Before you spend any money on the holidays, decide how much you can afford to spend and then portion that amount between all of the necessities such as gifts, food, entertaining, travel, etc. There is nothing more anxiety-provoking than the January credit card statements if December was managed poorly. Preplanning your spending and refusing to buy into the message: happiness is a mountain of presents, are necessary defences. Realize that there are a lot of ways to spend less money on gifts and yet still show that you care. Things like a gift exchange or Secret Santa is a great way to reduce the financial burden of gift giving. Homemade gifts are meaningful and can be very special to the person receiving them. Donating to charities is also becoming a popular alternative to actual store-bought presents.

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

 

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Reclaiming Leisure Time

time

A few days ago, I was listening to a local radio station and caught an interview with a mother and her young son. They were challenging each other to go the entire weekend without engaging in any screen time. The rules of the challenge were no cell phones, no tablets, no television, no email, and most importantly, no social media from Friday evening to Monday morning. Instead, they were to engage in reading, face-to-face conversations, playing board games, going for walks together etc. I found the interview to be delightful. The interaction between the mother and son was lively and full of well-intentioned kidding.

It left me wondering however, what would I have thought of the interview if I heard it 10 years earlier? I believe that ten or so years ago, I would have thought the idea of choosing to fill down time with reading or walking as a stretch or a challenge to be crazy or ridiculous. That led me to further wonder about what has happened to our leisure time in the last decade. Do we even have free time anymore?

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Preventing Respiratory Illness

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Colds and flus have plagued mankind for millennia. We all end up getting sick at one point or another. In fact, nature, in its wisdom, has ensured it. Contracting viruses allows our immune system to develop and maintain strength as we age.

So, since we can’t avoid germs and illness altogether, the next best thing is to create an environment within the body and our surroundings where viruses and bacteria don’t readily survive.

Here are some of the ways we can create an inhospitable environment for germs.

The Body

Eating a lot of vegetables, leafy greens, citrus and fruit while getting regular exercise and having a solid sleep routine goes a long way. It provides your body with the nutrients, strength and restoration it needs to fight illness, disease and to rebuild itself while efficiently removing waste.

This is the best way to create an inhospitable environment for bad bacteria/viruses both inside and outside ourselves. We need to discourage unhealthy microbes, so they don’t set up shop.

The plant world can also help us out here. Certain herbs help the body fight viruses by creating an environment that stands strong against unhealthy microbes. Elderberry is phenomenal in this regard. This plant doesn’t fight the viruses that may be cruising the bloodstream. Instead, it “teaches” the cell membranes to refuse entry to viruses that want to penetrate them (this is the first stage in contracting a virus). You can take Elderberry long term but after a couple of weeks you may find you feel nauseous so take this herb for one week and then take a week off etc.

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My 2019 Resolution: Slow Down Time

New Years slow down time Karen Spencer it can be different out of the woods wellness york region

I have a lofty goal for 2019. I want to make time slow down. You may be thinking that I’ve had a little too much spiked eggnog over the holidays, sadly I did not. I have however, been thinking about this goal for a long time and I realize that it is not as “impossible” as it may seem. Let me explain.  

When I was a kid time seemed limitless. Everyday passed by very slowly. The days leading up to Christmas seemed to drag. Summer vacation was painfully long and I couldn’t wait to go back to school to see my friends. I’ve always been curious about why these feelings have left me as I’ve gotten older. Why is it that since I’ve grown up, time seems to have sped up? 

I have come to realize that it all boils down to perception. Sadly, by the time we are seven years old, half of our perceived life is over. That is why it is so common to hear (and say), “I can’t believe it is (insert any month of the year) already?” 

So how can I change my perception of time so that it actually feels like it’s slowing down? 

Reintroduce Newness 

One of the reasons time seems so slow for children is that all of their experiences are new. As we age, our experiences tend to become routine and as a result our brain begins to blur them together. However, the good news is that it doesn’t matter what age we are, trying something new wakes up the brain. So, this year I am going to try to do something new every week. Ideas that I’ve already considered are: trying new recipes, driving new routes, and learning to knit.  

Practice Curiosity 

Curiosity is a muscle, if we don’t use it, we will lose it. Being curious means clearing your mind of preconceived notions, assumptions and any strongly held habits. Here is the test I took to check on the state of my curiosity – How many uses of a shoe can I imagine? I could only come up with twelve. Truly curious people can think of hundreds! And, curiosity is key to slowing down time, because using our minds for creation allows us to be in the present moment. Being in the moment means that we are not jumping into the future and fantasizing about how we’d like things to go, or delving into the past and focusing about how things were. In the present moment, time stands still.  

So what can I do to become curious again in 2019?

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

 

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Organization Can Be a Stress Reducer

organization can reduce stress Karen Spencer it can be different out of the woods wellness

I get asked all the time for quick and easy ways to reduce everyday stress. My answer is always the same: get organized. Putting effort into organization, especially if you can organize multiple areas of your life, can reduce stress levels in the long term by requiring less last-minute scrambling in a variety of everyday situations. The result can also bring on a sense of empowerment. You will be able to look forward to events as “exciting,” instead of “overwhelming” or “stressful.” Keeping your stress response from being triggered can minimize or eliminate negative reactions to situations, and result in an overall calmer state of being

For many however, getting organized can be quite difficult and confusing. For example, how organized is enough? Does organized mean that every minute of every day is scheduled? What are the most important areas of life to organize?

Where to Start

The following are two areas where good organization can bring about the greatest benefit:

Your House:

A house filled with clutter and disorganization can drain your energy and cause a lot of wasted effort attempting to get even the simplest of tasks done. Did you know that household clutter can also drain you in other ways? Clutter can drain your finances when you end up repurchasing items you thought were lost but were merely misplaced. And clutter can certainly drain your time as you spend wasted minutes or maybe even hours sifting through your possessions. That is why it is important to organize your home. While you don’t need to alphabetize your books or organize your closet by colours, it is important to have everything in its place and have that place be somewhere that makes sense to you.

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

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Take Your Power Back In The Digital Age

the digital age Karen Spencer it can be different out of the woods wellness york region - life coaching and nlp services - negative self talk Aurora

Am I addicted to my technology? It’s a question I asked myself the other day. I noticed that I was never without at least one device in my hands. The next question was why is that? And what reaction was it causing in me?

A Social Norm Gone Too Far?

As a society, we are tied to our devices, night and day. When was the last time you saw someone without their phone in their hand? Chiropractors are reporting an elevated rate of patients with neck problems due to the constant head down posture brought on by screen time. Now add on the general stress level of the times we are living in. Life is moving faster than ever before in history. Expected response times to emails have gone down, from a couple of days a decade ago to a couple of minutes today.

Humans can only absorb so much stress before it boils over, turning into anxiety. So, it is vital to learn what your warning signs are and understand your triggers.

Keeping Up with the Social Media Jones’

After recognizing that I was addicted to my technology, I also came to realize that it was a potential anxiety trigger for me. I noticed that when I would look at social media sites I tended to feel ‘less than.’ These feelings quite naturally increased my anxiety.

Recent studies have shown that over fifty-five per cent of people have a negative reaction when looking at pictures of others online. These images evoke feelings of jealousy, envy, low self-esteem and competitiveness. There is also an expectation to keep up with the latest viral sensations and live news reports, to stay ‘in the know.’ This ability to access news about disasters and death twenty-four hours a day easily heightens anxiety.

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

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Anxiety And Medication: What It Did, And Did Not Do For Me

traditional medication and anxiety it can be different karen spencer nlp york region

Often I am asked what I think about anxiety medication, and if I believe it is the answer to eliminating anxiety. Whenever this happens, I always tell my story about what medication did and did not do for me.

Help When I Needed It

During the period of my life when I was suffering from chronic anxiety, unable to cut the cycle of fear and perceived danger everywhere, I turned to medication. Both my doctor and counselor at the time suggested that, based on my symptoms, medication was the only course of action that made sense for me:

  • The persistent ‘On’ position of my mind was putting pressure on my kidneys, heart and other organs.
  • My negative thinking was causing negative hormones like cortisol to flood my body, resulting in super-elevated heart rate and sleep deprivation.

The doctor told me how important it was not to underestimate the effects that chronic anxiety can have on one’s health; both short-term and long term.

My Anxiety “Aha” Moment: Time to Seek Treatment

The particular incident that led me to take anxiety medication was when I began to behave with obsessive tendencies. I was scheduled to go visit my daughter in the UK but the thought of the long flight was bringing on panic and claustrophobia. I was seriously considering not being able to endure the flight. And I was fretting about how I would hold my composure while confined on the plane. Flying had never been a problem for me before, however now my anxiety was taking that pleasure away from me. And the thought of not being able to see my daughter was too much for me to bear. I needed to do something.

I am eternally grateful to my doctor and counsellor for their advice regarding medication. It got me out of my downward anxiety spiral, and set me back on the path to life. I believe it may have even saved my life. It had its place and it did what it was supposed to do, alleviating my anxiety in a crisis situation. Calming me down, it allowed me to reclaim control of my life.

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

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Get Past Your Fear Of Change

get past your fear of change it can be different karen spencer york region nlp

My last blog discussed why people are afraid of change. Why they opt to stay stuck, rather than push forward toward a new version of themselves. Feelings of discomfort, uncertainty, fear of criticism or failure were the main culprits. Now that we recognize why we resist change so much, the next question is how do we get past those feelings and start moving forward differently?

I have had some major times in my life where I knew that I needed to change, and change BIG, in order to get out of the mess I was in and to get to some place better. But I was scared of making those changes. I didn’t jump into the sea of change right away. I dodged and darted, avoiding what my intuition was telling me for months, even years. It was only when my life got so unhappy and unbearable that I accepted the challenge to make changes. I highly recommend not waiting to embrace change until life gets overwhelming like I did. It leads to chaos, many sleepless nights, and unrelenting anxiety.

I realize that choosing to stay right where you are, doing exactly what you’ve been doing, can provide temporary relief. You won’t need to worry about all of the “what-if…” scenarios. You won’t have the unknown future staring you in the face. But, if you never embrace change, especially the changes you know deep in your heart you need to make, then you will never know what might have been. And isn’t that scarier than the fear of change?

I have listed below six steps that will help you face change more easily in your life.

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

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How Soft Eyes Can Reduce The Feelings Of Anxiety

how soft eyes can reduce anxiety it can be different out of the woods wellness karen spencer aurora

I have vivid memories of my many heightened experiences with anxiety. Triggered by an event (which many times was outside of my awareness), my relentless negative self-talk would start up and be something I could not stop. Typically, it was worries of a negative outcome, a perceived failure or an anticipated altercation with someone. Certainly the thought, I’m not good enough, was at the centre of most of my internal dialogue.

Interestingly enough, when I felt anxious, I took on behaviour as if a real predator was actually threatening me. My eyes would dart back and forth, desperately looking for the danger. I was acting as if a prowling lion was stalking toward me. I have now learned that this is a completely normal behavioural response to feelings of fear or anxiety. This behaviour is hardwired into us; the mind cannot tell the difference between being scared due to an actual predator, or from something imagined.

After years of trying to manage my anxiety, I discovered if I defocused my eyes while experiencing anxiety my emotions would calm down. A wonderful sense of connection would begin and my heart rate would start to slow. I soon began to defocus my eyes at work, when I was feeling anxious, or at home when things got overwhelming. It was a great take along when I was on long flights to reduce any sense of nervousness.

Technique for Reducing Anxiety: Defocusing Your Eyes

Here is all you need to know to start doing this technique yourself. Pick an object to focus on somewhere near you. It can be anything, like a chair or book. The size or shape of the object doesn’t matter.

Next, stare at the object with all of your concentration…

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

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Do Autumn Differently This Year

do autumn differently anxiety disorders and natural solutions for anxiety it can be different out of the woods wellness karen spencer aurora

Autumn Is On The Way

Can you feel the change in the air? My mother always used to ask me this around this time of the year. And she was right. There is a shift in the air at this time of year. Somehow, it feels less intense outside, even though temperatures can still reach as high as they did at the peak of the summer. There is a coolness that catches you every once in a while.  Sleeping at night is easier. Windows can be open and we do not need to rely incessantly on our air conditioners. All of these signs point directly to the return of children to school and for us adults, the return to a more routine way of life. Even for those of us who either do not have children, or have children that are grown and done with the school system, the approach of autumn means a return to a way of life that is usually more stressed and more demanding. The long days of summer, with their “whatever” attitude, are starting to pack their bags and head to more southerly regions.

Do Autumn Differently This Year

For some, the return to the regular routine of life means the return to the familiar feelings of stress and anxiety. But what if we enter autumn differently this year, and avoid those unwanted feelings altogether?

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Karen Spencer

Master Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner and Coach, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner, Master Hypnotherapist

It Can Be Different

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